If I'm cool here, you can be cool here, too. There's Becky standing all alone. - Go bring her a drink. - Okay. Hey, Becky. In this sea of losers, you're the real standout. We may be unincluded, but I'm including you in my masturbation fantasies later. Soda?! - [All gasp] - My shirt is ruined! This is the first party I've ever been to, and it's ruined! Wah! [Grunting loudly] [Crying and grunting] - Whoa. - Maybe there's a reason some of these people don't get invited to stuff. I blew it. I'm never talking to a girl again. No way. That took guts. Let's go upstairs and meet the new and improved future you. Hey, Steve. [Both moaning] Snot, I gotta tell you, she's a hell of a lot better at this than you are. Hey! Future me is even bigger. And he got a sweet new deep V-neck hoodie. 'Sup? Where's future me? Someone peed in there. How did I become a convict? Long time ago, I spilled a drink on this girl, Becky, and she screamed at me. I vowed never to speak to a woman again. And I never did Not even the ones I ate. Steve! Don't even worry about it. Sounds like all you have to do is talk to a girl in the near 20 years and this guy? Poof, he's gone. - You're right. Let's do it now. - [Girls giggling] Do I hear girls downstairs? And if so, does your basement have, like, one of those drains in the floor? [Indistinct conversations] There's some girls. Talk to 'em.